do you have hairnets?

Sadly this was the highlight of my day:    

      "DO YOU HAVE HAIR NETS?" was the question asked, but it got filtered through my brain as "Do ya have inna-net?"
     "Yeah but there is some for free downstairs. you don't have to pay" I conspiratorially whisper, because after all, we are suppose to encourage customers to use Starbucks internet.

     wrong answer.

     The obese wannabe- midlife fashionista of a women shots me a dirty look, glares and snarls, "Not for me. For you." 
     "you idiot"
     The last part she doesn't actually say out loud, but she doesn't need to, because we all know what words fill in the pregnant blank pause. A cascade of questions rush through my mind; why is this women concerned about my internet access usage? I mean that shows that she cares, right?  But why does she care about me? Because caring is like love, right? How did she form such a deep well of emotion (for me!) in the brief period of time that I've been making her drink?  But if she does care about me and is so concerned about my internet options then why is she being so snarky, and openly mean to me?  A myriad of emotions filter through me.  I feel special, hurt, confused.  Trying to drum up an equal amount of emotion and care for this women as she has for me, I wonder exactly where this conversation is headed; and reply "What? I don't need it, I never use it, I have it at home."
     In a caps lock voice she barks "You have to wear one. You look like you're about to start shedding.  In about an hour you're going to shed."  Then it dawns on me that she said hair net and not internet.

     Oh.

     She snatches her nonfat smoothie ( yeah, that will help) and punctuality states "Put-- One-- On--" Pausing after each word, probably catching her breath because it's the most effort she's put into anything all week, yelling at a barista. Congratulations this is the highlight of your week. idiot.